Conspiracy! Card-a-Day #96

Evidence Card 0070: Shadow Government

Evidence Card 0070: Shadow Government

“Mr. President, we have a direct line to JSOC.  Delta Team is in place and awaiting orders.”

“Just a moment, Carl.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but they need your ‘go/no go’ in the next 90 seconds or we’ll lose the target and be forced to abort.”

“I’ll let you know after I finish this text message.”

“I’m sorry, sir, you’re … texting?”

“Yep.  I don’t get to make this call.  It’s gotta go through Simon.  Don’t worry, he’s always quick to respond.”

“Mr. President … who’s Simon?”

“My handler.  You’ll learn all about this when you get high enough in the organization.  Remember the cruise missiles we launched into Uruguay?  That was his call.”

“Twenty seconds sir.  They need an answer—”

“Wait, here it is.  He says, ‘yes ice that fucker lol’.  Ha, he actually typed ‘lol’.  Strange sense of humor, that man.”

“JSOC, we are go.  Eliminate the target.”

“‘hows my sexy bae <3’?”

“Mr. President?”

“Wait, that’s the wife.  Ha!  Simon’s usually not so forward.  Though I did get a dick pic from him once.  Awkward.”

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