Psst … hey buddy. Yeah, you. C’mere.
I see you talkin’ on that shiny new phone … you like gadgets, right? Well, take a gander at what I got in this briefcase.
What does it do? All kinds of crazy things. Never mind that “property of the U.S. Department of Defense” sticker, it peels right off. The buzzing sound? That’s, um … charging. Yeah, it charges using sunspots or something. The tingling sensation? It’s reading your thoughts … uh, so it can search Google while you sleep.
Are you gonna look or are you gonna buy, pal? I haven’t got all day. I gotta sell this thing and see a doctor about this blue liquid dripping out of my ears.