Evidence Card 0090: Old World Illuminati
843rd Annual Grand Conclave of the Bavarian High Illuminati
with Special Guest Mel Tillis
May 20th, 2015
Neuschwanstein Castle, Hohenschwangau, Germany
Agenda
- Opening procession
- Human sacrifice
- Invocation to Te-Amun-Jehovah, The Merciless One, He Whose Wisdom and Power Know No Bounds
- Coffee and complimentary Dunkin Donuts™
- Introduction of new members
- Execution of prior members
- Revise schedule for World War III
- Lunch break
- Mind control workshop
- Raffle (top prize: Belgium)
- Tax records bonfire and marshmallow roast
- Blimp rides (pants optional)
- The stand-up comedy stylings of Michael Winslow
- Cocktails and buffet of roasted endangered species
- After-dinner orgy
- Planetary alignment
- The rising of the Ancient Ones
- Special midnight screening of Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights