Conspiracy! Card-a-Day #120

Evidence Card 0090: Old World Illuminati

Evidence Card 0090: Old World Illuminati

843rd Annual Grand Conclave of the Bavarian High Illuminati

with Special Guest Mel Tillis

May 20th, 2015

Neuschwanstein Castle, Hohenschwangau, Germany

Agenda

  1. Opening procession
  2. Human sacrifice
  3. Invocation to Te-Amun-Jehovah, The Merciless One, He Whose Wisdom and Power Know No Bounds
  4. Coffee and complimentary Dunkin Donuts™
  5. Introduction of new members
  6. Execution of prior members
  7. Revise schedule for World War III
  8. Lunch break
  9. Mind control workshop
  10. Raffle (top prize: Belgium)
  11. Tax records bonfire and marshmallow roast
  12. Blimp rides (pants optional)
  13. The stand-up comedy stylings of Michael Winslow
  14. Cocktails and buffet of roasted endangered species
  15. After-dinner orgy
  16. Planetary alignment
  17. The rising of the Ancient Ones
  18. Special midnight screening of Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights
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