Evidence Card 0086: Hackers
[cyb3rPalad1n@xanadu666 ~] $ sudo /usr/sbin/astral-vpn Password: ********** Starting Astral™ Traceless VPN... bouncing through 183 IPs... You are now traceless! Happy hacking! [cyb3rPalad1n@xanadu666 ~] $ sftp a.carter@pentagon.defense.gov Connecting to pentagon.defense.gov... a.carter's password: flintstones sftp> pwd Remote working directory: /central/rtn/users/home/acarter sftp> cd /central/ops/pent/serv/food/ sftp> ls -a total 4 -rw-r--r--+ 3 root root 83 Oct 18 2014 . -rw-r--r--+ 3 root root 102 Dec 21 2014 .. -rw-r--r--+ 3 root root 218 Mar 02 2011 js.iml -rw-r--r--+ 3 root root 1609 Apr 18 2015 cafeteria_menu.txt sftp> sed -i 's/Tater Tots/Brussel Sprouts/g' cafeteria_menu.txt sftp>logout [cyb3rPalad1n@xanadu666 ~] $ shutdown -s
To: everyone@pentagon.defense.gov
From: a.carter@pentagon.defense.gov
Bcc: barack.obama@whitehouse.gov
Everyone,
To whoever keeps putting brussel sprouts on the cafeteria menu: the joke’s gotten old. Ever since word got out that I hate the goddamn things, I’ve seen them in the cafeteria EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s been weeks. I can’t stand the sight of the things. This has to stop.
If the brussel sprout situation continues, I’ll be forced to take the appropriate executive action. I trust whoever thinks this is still funny will reevaluate their motivations and act accordingly.
Let’s put this behind us and get back to work defending America.
Ash Carter
Secretary of Defense
United States Department of Defense