Conspiracy! Card-a-Day #107

Evidence Card 0079: Chemtrails

Evidence Card 0079: Chemtrails

“Excuse me, stewardess?”

“Hello!  First, a quick tip: we like to use the gender-neutral term ‘flight attendant.'”

“Oh, I beg your pardon.  I haven’t been on a plane in quite a while.”

“It’s no problem.  How can I help you this morning, ma’am?”

“As I say, I haven’t flown in, well, maybe twenty years.  Last time was when my last grandchild was born.  This seems like a very new plane.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Can I ask what those are?”

“I’m sorry … the windows?”

“No, those round metal things behind my row.”

“Oh!  Those are tanks of compressed gas and liquid chemicals.”

“Really?  What are they for?”

“After we take off, we’ll ascend to 30,000 feet and begin spraying chemicals into the atmosphere.”

“Goodness, why?”

“It’s a cocktail of mind-altering drugs designed to make people passive and open to suggestion.  It’s a government thing.”

“Interesting.  But … wouldn’t the high winds at 30,000 feet disperse all those chemicals and make them ineffective?”

“I’m not a scientist, ma’am, so I couldn’t tell you.”

“And wouldn’t the people who want to control us also breathe the chemicals?”

“Hmm, I never thought of that.”

“And why hasn’t anyone on a commercial flight noticed these big tanks before?”

“Beats me.  Now, if you don’t mind, buckle your seatbelt and get ready for takeoff.”

“I have another question—”

(spray)

“Seatbelt, please.”

“Yes, flight attendant.  Ready for takeoff.”

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