Conspiracy! Card-a-Day #53

Evidence Card 0037: Istanbul

Evidence Card 0037: Istanbul

“Where’ve you been all this time, Sal?”

“Been out on a wild goose chase.  Someone called in and ordered a large pizza with the works to be delivered to somewhere in Constantinople.  I couldn’t find the place.”

“It’s Istanbul, not Constantinople.”

“Huh?”

“It’s Istanbul.  Not Constantinople.”

“Why’d they change it?”

“I can’t say.  People just liked it better that way.”

“Well … should I take this back to Constantinople?”

“You can’t go back to Constantinople.  It’s been a long time gone.”

“Constantinople?”

“Yeah.”

“Then … why did Constantinople get the works?”

“That’s nobody’s business but the Turks’.”

Conspiracy! Card-a-Day #52

Evidence Card 0036: India

Evidence Card 0036: India

Mumbai, India—Archaeologists digging in advance of a new, high capacity sewer tunnel have excitedly announced the recent discovery of the world’s oldest known tech support center.

Dating back to the 11th Century reign of Rajaraja Kulothunga Chola I, the complex of scribes and messengers reportedly received and answered written messages from perplexed European crusaders seeking guidance in matters of tactics and siege warfare.

Conspiracy! Card-a-Day #51

Theory 15: Occupation Force

Theory 15: Occupation Force

“Sarge?”

“What is it, Private?”

“Sir, explain to me again why we’re invading downtown Des Moines.”

“We’ve got to soften up the American people.”

“Soften them up, sir?”

“To get them ready for the arrival of our alien overlords.”

“Oh … so, we need to oppress our own citizens so they’re ready to accept the aliens’ authority.”

“No! We need to literally soften them up.  Greys don’t have teeth and human flesh is hard for them to swallow.”